Got a bad news last Saturday.
A friend I knew had suicide by hang himself with a rope.
What a pity.
Shock is just a bit of my whole feeling ever since.
Most of all is guilty. huge regret.
I wish I was there when he needed me.
I wish I called him more often. I wish I listened to him more patience.
I wish I cared him more, I wish...
I wish I called him minutes before.
Why? He’s such a good guy.
Does he forget that he had me to turn over when he feels his world trembling down?
Or might I was neglected him more than I know...

I forgive you...
Maybe you turned me down sometimes...
Maybe you were hurt me sometimes...
Maybe you were such annoying sometimes...
I forgive you.. it didn’t matter. At all.
But, would you forgive me?
For ignore you when you called me?
For not listening when you need to share?
For not being there when the worst came?
I’m sorry. For not being a good friend for you, because you were a good one for me.
I’m sorry. For everything.

Somehow, in my own way, I cared for you a lot.
Sorry, for not showing it clearly... for not shouting it loudly...
And the worst, for not letting you know that I care for you, truly.
I’m sorry.